Endings and Beginnings

Post Dated for Friday night --- the night that I rocked our son to sleep, a miracle in itself -- it is almost as if he knew -- he knew that he and his mama had a moment to relish in a day that seemed like forever in coming, and yet, oddly, perfect timing...
Years and years ago, I had a dream and Jeff and I set our plan -- get him thru school, then get me in and through school, and start out family along the way -- Our Goal? That we both have solid jobs, with flexibility and long term security so that we can focus, together, on our family...

So, as life's path's take us....Dr. Gamel-McCormick, committee member and incredibly supportive of my PhD--
I interviewed at UD 4 years ago, first with him -- and he helped direct my path!

on Friday, I had the pleasure and honor of thanking my amazing husband -- in my eyes, he got 2 degrees in the last 4 years - -his RN and an honorary PhD for dealing with me!!, family, and friends for their support on my PhD journey -- the hooding ceremony at University of Delaware -- It was an intimate event with mere 126 PhD candidates, about 10 from my program, and we were the last of the last to walk across the stage... This faculty member was not on my committee!

I am thankful for my advisor and a fantastic committee for supporting my research process, and to the great faculty at UD BIOMS program for their infinite knowledge and wisdom... and, as I counted my blessings and those who have been supportive along the way, I looked up and saw Jeff and little man up with family who could make it, in the balcony, directly within my view and what a joy it was to see Jeff and Little Man together...
It feels like a lifetime ago -- almost 4 years -- I started school and Jeff was in his last year of nursing school... several years of working at CHOP, teaching at Misericordia, and fulfulling my research assistantship role at UD while taking full time classes, planning and getting married, and doing an adoption. The journey looking back had so many "Surprises"... But, no doubt, during that time, we were blessed by the incredible support of family, friends, and adoption professionals with whom we could have have achieved our goal --- our agency, our family at CHOP in our IA team, our friend and colleague Alla, Shelly Saunders our HS SW, Annie Steinberg psychiatrist who helped with our paperwork, our accountant, and so many more people who rose to the "HELP, we need this NOW" calls for documentation......all the while we were taking tests in school, passing competency exams, starting new job at CHOP (Jeff), etc -- What a CRAZY time...Reflecting on all this, I am surprised I was not asleep in the rocking chair before little man.
But, Friday -- well, Friday -- what a day, and what a night... At the end of that road, I sat -- with our son, amazed at the twists, turns, and speedbumps and ever so sure they all needed to be there -- no matter how emotional, how cognitively or financially or emotionally challenging -- we had to go thru them together to get to this point... And, I know, along the way, we were also very very much supported on the wings of angels in heaven smoothing the way... As our friend Bethany said, something to the effect of, "It never ceases to amaze me the way things come together, when at times it seems as if they never will"...And, on Friday night, as little man amazingly enough dozed into dreams of sugar plums and future diplomas (probably out of sheer exhaustion from the day, but i'd like to think it was utter comfort and security in being loved), I thought about what was behind us, and why lay ahead, and how grateful I am for where we are, and who we are with in our life journey -- we have amazing family, fantastic friends, supportive bosses, a great kid, a great dog -- and a great future... All these years, we have been planning for just this moment.... And in that moment, I remembered a card our friend Kim (now in Portland!) gave me a while back, so I pulled it out --

"There will come a time when you believe everything is finished...
That will be the beginning"
Louis L'Amour