Thank you, Little Man...

November 20 we celebrated 6 months home as a family. Really, life being life and the realities set within it, we celebrated 2 days later, when neither of us were working! November 20 LM hit the "playground" jackpot - it was a beautiful day (appropriately so), so we hit a "never been before playground in the AM" and then in the PM after his nap, we went to his neighborhood fav and literally stayed until after dark... it was that warm... and he was having that much fun..

I truly can't believe it - 6 months. In many ways, he's been with us a lifetime. And in others, it seems like just yesterday that we traveled back from Kirov with Celeste, Chris, & Nicholas... then that we met up with Laura, JD, and Kristina in Moscow to toast our "victory"... It has been a blur. Which I hear is the case for first time parents, regardless the age you are blessed with your first child (that being, both your own age, ahem, a bit "older" as someone recently described me... hm... and of course LM wasn't exactly a newborn)... Part of me is really sad about the blur -- we were all working so hard at everything we knew to help him, and us, transition.... and, no matter how long you wait, how much you want it, what your life experiences are, etc -- new parenting (Us) and new being a part of a family (LM) is beset with amazing moments of sheer bliss and others of, be honest, "holy tamole -- what is happening here?" moments... I recently wrote for our work program newsletter an article about family wellness after adoption -- and what I've decided is that, the balance is just that -- constantly considering all variables, adjusting work/feeding/sleeping/playing/__fill in the blank__, to enjoy each day as much as possible. And, as my good friend Bethany, who recently had a newborn, put it so well -- not every day can be a great day... Why was I expecting it to be so after our child was home? But, when you add it all together, this little man is INCREDIBLE and we are more in love with him every day -- and, finding our way to not only having good attachment/bonding between us and him, but also figuring out -- how do you maintain a marriage and individual needs while making sure your kids are fully supported? We are blessed, there is no doubt: one amazingly shiny, happy, loving little boy; one pretty cute dog (albeit who knew the dog could display "older sibling" rivalry moves?); simply beyond supportive (read OMG how do they know so well what we need and when we need it?) parents; great friends; secure jobs we both love; a roof over our heads. Thankful thankful thankful.

I spent a lot of the last week thinking about this post -- while it may bore you, I have been re-counting all our son has learned in what, for most people IS a blink of an eye, a blip on the radar screen of life -- 6 months... So, skip to the photos, but understand my desire to list.. I am a terrible journaler & photo album gal... This blog is our son's legacy from me, really -- I just need to figure out how to print it and bind it at 1 year, 2 years, etc... So, for our terrific, talented, dynamo, here are some incredible facts about you and all you've done in 6 months, besides grab our hearts and run with them... So pardon the change in pronouns - when our LM can read, I want him to see how proud, today and every day, I am of him.
---Self Care --

6 months ago: fully dependent for dressing, hating baths, and screaming at the concept of a toothbrush; not happy at all with anything that does not resemble soup with bread sopping in it.... or some sort of porridge consistency... won't drink anything other than warm tea as only papa could make it with just the right amount of sugar, etc..

Now: you help with dressing, and think it is hilarious when you pull off your socks and say "ock"... you are practically a scuba diver in the tub, and you remind us that you need to brush your teeth when we forget and try to leave the bathroom at night and in the am... You will eat anything. truly. Pomegranate seeds are this weeks "seriously?" Yes. seriously. You dig them... You are starting to like feeding yourself, but also still like sitting there and playing googly faces at us while we feed you -- It's OK -- we know you can do it, and we are enjoying each moment you want to be with us playing -- we know all too soon you'll be 21, heading out with our car keys, and we'll be wondering when you'll be back to play....You know exactly where your vitamin is and each morning run right to that cabinet, making sure you get it! And, drinking? You drink anything from a cup, cold or warm, love milk, still like to drink from a bottle, and lots of cuddles and games make it extra special....But not to worry -- your bottom line fav is still bread; and, in fact, you found a loaf that was waiting to become stuffing, carried it around the house shouting "bread bread bread". Ahem. Yes, given your stellar communication efforts, food nazi let you have some bread -- with brocoli and cheese melted on it - you loved it.

The first day he held and ate a banana solo --

he was so proud of himself it was adorable!

Gross Motor:
Then - You were walking by yourself, but unable to go over curbs, up hills, or (gasp) over grass with or without shoes on... no steps, etc.
6 months later- You are running down the path, chasing Ashton, walking Ashton, love going hiking (you ask for "hi boo" for your hiking boots!), climbing steps with a rail, throwing and kicking a ball... you love to walk backwards, are just starting to walk sideways, and you love jumping and hopping forward on 2 feet... you also love walking along lines - curved and straight, and you make anything that looks like a possibility into a balance beam (must be the Russian in you :) ).... oh, and you love love love your little ride on toys -- you push yourself a good pace, then pick up your feet and squeal with laughter... we love your sense of adventure but do pray for some insight and safety awareness to kick in.... otherwise, sky diving and extreme sports are definitely in your future...

Walking Ashton Inside our Outside is great fun

Fine Motor/Adaptive Play:
Then: You picked up toys in either hand, you didn't have a preference. You'd look at them a moment, then throw them. I wondered "will this child ever learn to clean up after himself, or will I be his beck and call put away mom?".. You didn't have a pincer grasp, and you truly had no idea what to do with toys, let alone crayons, etc.
Now: You are stuck with a peds OT for a mommy, kiddo -- hopefully you find all the "stations" of play, and the crafts as fun as I enjoy doing them with you!! And, after lots of hammering, coffee container, and coloring play, you are firmly a right hander... You love to color (and can even do a circle now, along with horizontal and vertical lines, and working on a cross!), play with stickers (although can't figure out why a sticker will stick to your nose, but a refridgerator magnet will not), stack block, drive cars, and your pretend play is just incredible, and fun to watch. You love music and any toy which makes music -- at family and friend's houses, you gravitate towards the pianos and guitars, or, of course ,the car and train sets... You can do puzzles with any sort of edge (animals, trucks/cars, etc) and at the library walked up to a puzzle you've never done before-- the pieces were already out, and you figured out where each of them goes.... You are smart, you watch everything, and you learn so quickly it amazes us... I truly think you are already smarter than us. Oh, and you clean up -- without being asked. I hope it lasts! :)

Communication:
Then: You clearly understood directions in Russian, but didn't speak... you made lots of sounds, jabbering away, but nothing that was words. You didn't point, didn't gesture... You were taking it all in, but not sure how to tell us what you wanted.
Now: You are trying so very hard to talk -- you are making all sorts of sounds and trying very very hard to learn words -- You love pointing out people in pictures, love reading books, and your understanding of english blows us away -- I don't think we could have learned Russian so well if we lived there for 6 months. But you, your little brain is like 1,000 sponges... you have large large tonsils & we learned you can't hear so well out of your right ear right now, so we are looking forward to seeing how well you do once you can hear us and hear yourself!! Meanwhile, you are incredibly patient, try very hard to talk and let us shape your words, and you really want to communicate...You sign, you gesture, you point, you use the words you have, and you clearly tell us what you want and say "thank you" without being prompted in your own way...

Helping Papa sweep the deck!

Attachment/Relationships:
Then: You liked to play, but were overall a bit apprehensive. You watched everything with your finger in your mouth... Papa coined it the "worried look" that day in front of the basilica in Moscow, and he was exactly right... You made great eye contact but you were gaurded with your smile... You'd scream like there was a bed of nails in the crib to go to bed each night and nap, and had a very hard time settling....You let us carry you around everywhere, but you never actually "held on" -- you'd sit there stiffly, looking out at the world more than you'd look at us... And, I think, understandably, you were sad -- you had people who loved you, and a place and routine where you were taken care of -- you were smart enough not to trust us immediately...

Happy, Confident, Love Traveling Boy in his cool aviator jacket
Thanks Aunt Eileen!

Now: Where to start? You are a loving, beautiful, happy little person... You watch everyone, and you seem to "know" "who" is a kid person. You love to play with us, and grab our hands to take us to what you want... When Papa pulls in the driveway, you do a little happy dance quietly saying "Papa, Papa, Papa"... You love sitting on our laps, reading books, and going to bed (naptime you shoo us out of the room so you can get to napping business!)... You hold on when we carry you, put your head on our shoulders, and you push away to stare at us, smile right in our face, and hug us -- you love pointing out your face and our face parts, with some odd fascination for eyebrows that is just plain old cute. You are compassionate -- you worry and search for a crying baby and then you insist on seeing the baby after he stops crying to make sure he's OK.... You go up to other kids on the playground who have fallen or are crying, and you touch them gently. You snuggle. Oh, how you snuggle. It started about a month ago that you regularly came up, just for the purpose of hugging our legs, or sitting in our laps just to sit. When in a small crowd, you do not leave our sides -- you hug our legs or ask to be picked up... You not only clearly know who you belong to, I am delighted that you seem to cherish in being with us as much as we love being with you....I can't even begin to tell you how that feels. And, as I watch you grow closer to your Papa, and watch him, too, fall in love with you and you fall in love back, my heart is so happy...

"It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere" Home 25 Weeks...

Thank you, little man -- for your resilience and your persistence -- we know how much you've had to work the last 6 months to learn and do so much... For all you've had to learn, transition to, take in, process, and learn -- and still you smile every single day almost all the time. You have our deepest admiration.

Thank you, little man -- for your acceptance and welcoming of us as your parents, but also for loving your grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends -- it's hard to learn all these new people, and your zest for being around all these good people in our lives is brilliant... I see the joy you bring to their lives, too, and love that your presence makes them happy, like it does you!!

Thank you, little man -- for your patience with us, as we learn to be a family (and define what that means to all of us as we go), to be the kind of parents we want to be... For having a sense of humor with us, and for forgiving our mistakes, and for waking up each day and gracing each of our days with your remarkable spirit...

Thank you, little man -- for gracing our lives with your spirit, your smile, your laugh... with youself. YOU are incredible, and we love you so much.