Reality Hits....

Reality has hit home....

Jeff went back to work this week...

"Miss you already, Papa"

Man, do I ever wish we were independently wealthy so he didn't need to leave the house and go back to work, and so that I didn't need to keep working either...Don't get me wrong -- I know, we are so fortunate, we both have great, secure, financially appropriate for our lifestyle jobs, and hey, we both actually really love what we do... So, I do not by any means want to sound like I am complaining.. It's just that we have just been very spoiled -- We have spent 5 amazing weeks together.... just incredible -- and I will always always cherish that -- Those of you waiting to travel with your partners or single and traveling with good friends, be sure you cherish every moment of that, too -- how often in this busy world do we get that time, that quiet, "away from it all" time with the ones we love, venturing into the quest of a lifetime?? But, be that as it may, reality is reality... I told LM, "sorry dude, take a look around -- someone needs to get out there and pay for this place".. I am so grateful to Jeff for his willingness to be the one who leaves the house to go to work -- But of course we missed Papa deeply and were so happy to see him home!!

Lots of other "reality" checks this week...

It seems, at many levels, as we move into the swing of family life and balancing Papa going back to work, Aslan is questioning "am I here to stay?" He is extra cling-on this week, especially to me... we are working hard on helping Papa not feel left out, but also honoring LM's clear insecurity in his attachment... It is as if he is coming out of the "what is happening?" fog, falling into the routine, and so, of course, starting to question it... Not unlike, if you think about it, the phase people go thru after the initial "you are so great' dating phase --- after people just totally are ga-ga in dating a few weeks or months, there is a period of "do you really like me?" and "do i really like you?"... and, in many ways, this is no different... So, we honor and understand his fears and anxieties as we help him in his journey to accepting reality: he is stuck with us, like it or not! LOL.

One of the ways we are trying to help him be AOK w/ reality is a super regular routine....For newly adopted children (well all children, but that is my soap box and I'll try to stay off of it!) really really need and crave structure and routine... Part of our routine every day is up (around 6:30 now! Thanks for the extra 1/2 hour of sleep for us, LM!), breakfast, play a few minutes, then, of course, there is morning calisthetics. Come on? you don't think I am going to let our kid get away with a day without solid exercise after his healthy morning meal do you? So, rain or shine, out we go.

Walking in the rain...

Another supporting factor in coming to grips with reality for our sweet amazing resilient kiddos of IA is by keeping stimulation to a LOW... We made just a couple of "outings" in the last 7 days. Literally, I think 2 days we went out into the "real world"....

Trip to Target...

While awed by everything around him, he appears to like shopping about as much as Jeff and I. Excellent. That will keep the bills down.

Another part of reality came along this week! The furniture we ordered in APRIL!!! yahoo!


Kids who have been adopted internationally have a hard time transitioning, particularly with sleep and eating. Our LM is no different -- so, I aimed to keep his room very low key, with simple furniture, simple colors, and not a lot of stuff. We keep him out of his room except for just before naps and bedtime, so he doesn't confuse his bedroom (ie: sleeping place) for a "go wild and play" place...Thanks so much to Aunt Kris for the loaner crib!!! We just love his furniture and are very grateful to my Mom and Dad and Carl for their generousity and insistence on getting it for us!! As for sleep itself, well, things are getting better, but we have a long way to go!!

The same day we went to target, we also went to Variety Club..... yes, we got all our "big stim" stuff out of the way on the same day! They had a carnival to celebrate 60 years of doing great stuff in our community for kids with disabilities... We are on the board there, and the director is a wonderful old friend of ours who found his reality much less stressful when he left CHOP and went to direct Variety Club Camp... Mr. Steve was so sweet with LM -- Steve and I have been friends for what feels like forever, and he has truly turned Variety Club around... It was great to see LM enjoy the music, the super huge bubble maker, and, of course, to meet Mr. Steve!!

LM has been quite anxious around other women -- for some women he shows this really confused response which I wonder sometimes if he is thinking like that book, "are you my mother?"... Until this week, he wasn't sure what he thought about Gamma.... Thankfully, Reality Check #125 set in: Yes LM, Gamma is REALLY fun!! LM realized this factoid this week... And it was so fun to sit back and watch them enjoy each other!! :)

LM Shares some Smiles and a Hug with Gamma

Reality hit for poor Ashton this week this week, as well... For LM, it was clear he decided he loves his dog, tackling him regularly and validating their relationship with "peace trades" during meals...

"Peace Talks"

...LM is very judicious - - one cheerio for himself, one for Ashton... it's hilarious to watch -- we only give him cheerios at the end of the meal, and i swear they both look forward to that special exchange together. And, I might add, that what is extra special is when, after the dog has lopped several out of his hands, and THEN he offers us a cheerio. I mean, how can you say no to your sweet little boy you've waited a lifetime for, when he offers you an extra gummy, flavor filled ABC hand with a cheerio in it??? YUM. (?ABC? winner for who knows what means!)... Another piece of this reality is the fact that, when Papa is at work, LM and Ashton need to share my attention. That was certainly a part of the week that took me most off guard. At one point, I was reading a book to LM while Ashton sat on the couch and pawing at my shoulder. It all worked out fine, and in a way it was pretty cute... of course, at the time, I was like "Ashton, come on, you are older, you should know better". Really? Come on, I think he was saying in his head (and with his actions!), "Come on, Mom, just because you SENT the memo that my life was going to change, doesn't mean I "GOT" the memo"...LOL.

OK, enough of that... Onto outdoor adventures of LM... we are outdoor people... and, after 17 months cooped up inside, LM really needs fresh air... we've taken him out on "hike a week" plan.. This week, we took Ashton and went to Evansburg State Park -- It's a great park near our house w/ several easy but pretty hikes, water (you know Ashton was all about that!), and conveniently enough, it has a great playground that we've been eyeing up for years...My Men Just Chomping at the Bit to run across the bridge to Kiss me! (yea, sure!)

...Happy Puppy!!! Swim Swim Swim...

Monkey See, Monkey Try to Do...
"After all their at home ' come on, he's your dog, play and be nice' talk,
Why won't these people let me go further into the water with my puppy?"

"Where are you going?"

LM has learned several new communication skills this week, including: waving good bye when we say "it's time to start getting ready to go", signing "all done" (sometimes not always when we are ready for him to be all done, but see that is where parenting interpretation and response to reality meet and parents win!)... He has also learned "Where did it go?"... This can apply to when he throws food toys on the floor, someone leaves the room, or he is sweetly tossing everything out of his bed -- item by item, trying to play with us versus sleep...and, to play with his puppy...

Iron Gym Fun! Baby Hopping

Another GREAT reality check: According to Unicef, there are 140 million orphans in this world...
I am DELIGHTED to report that at least 3 more children will be taken off that list by the end of the summer, as 3 of my friends got referrals this week for KIROV! yahoo!! 2 of them are definitely going, Pat for 2 kiddos and Elva for 1...3 boys coming home!!! We'll keep our third friend in our prayers as she finds out more about a little girl...

So, it was a great week --- LM is just phenomenal -- things he did this week to help reality sink in for us and give us the best smiles and giggles of our lives together include:

• Bobble head dancing -- a little jig he does when the music plays on this v-tech driving toy he got at the shower
• Puddle jumping - rain? love it. or at least the puddles they leave. He loved jumping and stomping and romping in the puddles. So cute!
• Walking with wide feet and duck arms -- he figured out there is this new way to walk, squatting and taking these really wide side to side steps, almost like imitating a duck.. he looks at us as he's doing it, we smile, and then he laughs himself silly every time he does it...
• Learning to stab fruit with a fork! (go little OT!)... :)
• Learning "all done" and then getting stuck by rubbing his elbows too long... Crib bouncing. Don't ask. It's a sleep thing. Or, should I say, a no sleep thing?
• Dog book-- he got this dog book for the shower -- it's a super cute book with a gizillion dogs doing silly things. He is mesmerized by it. I even emailed my friend Michelle and said "should I be worried by such perseverance. I mean, my gosh, I read the book to him at least 100x last night"... Anyway, there is a big mastiff on several of the pages who's tongue is hanging out. One reading, I pretended to pant hard with my tongue out and point at the dog. Little smart boy -- he now practically hyperventilates every time he sees that dog on the different pages.
• Touch and feel books -- are really cool when you use only your feet -- yup? why feel it with hands when you can contort your legs at any angle to get your feet onto the page?
• Teething teething teething... or, "Look, I can chew, can you?" on just about anything he can fit into his mouth... he is incredibly stoic about it -- i can't even begin to imagine how uncomfortable it must be for him, but as long as he has some chewy and from time to time a little dash of all natural teething stuff, he plays thru... Game on!
  
• Hugging tight, more then ever. Ok, so sometimes it's paired with throwing himself backward or swatting at us, but that is insecure attachment folks... "i want you, i think, but first i'll test you to see if you want me" attitude. Nice try, kid. Didn't you read above? you are stuck with us. And, we will give you the the compassion, support, structure, and love love love you need until you really believe in us as your reality...oh, and sunshine of course. Sorry, that is a bad old adoption joke that all kids need is love and sunshine. Sunshine helps, of course, but... :)
• He and we are all loving all the wonderful shower gifts -- and I have been slowly tackling the reality of all the thank you notes that are due to you amazing, wonderful, supportive folks --- please know we think of you all everyday, and are deeply thankful for your generosity and gifts --- I hope to finish the pile really soon and get our heartfelt thanks in writing out to you soon!!
  

...And so, while LM struggles with his place in this big new world of ours, and greets us each day with his own wonderful approach to this life we know as reality.... We realize and appreciate his incredible personality. Each day we get the joy of learning more about this little boy, and sharing in his carpe diem approach to the world... And, of course we know in our hearts that he was always meant to be here, and we love every moment having him with us.. so, as for having to work? who cares. that is life. Our son is here with us...
now as for that... What an amazing reality...

"It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere" Home 3 weeks Picture!